she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
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