it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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