i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I believe in your delicious
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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