Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
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Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
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You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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