we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
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