i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize