My liver just broke up with me...
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I had to cum in my sink.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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