If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
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This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
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