you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize