Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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