You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Randomize