dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
she peed on how many people?
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
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Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
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You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
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