Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
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