Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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