Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize