I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize