i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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