I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
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