rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
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i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
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Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
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