don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize