I wish I only lived at night.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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