if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
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