Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
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