doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
how drunk are you?
Several
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
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