Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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