I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
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you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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