where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
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Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
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You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
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