my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
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there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
So here I am, sexting at work.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
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