Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
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