i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦🏼♀️
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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