all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
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