please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
tell me about the fingering
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