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You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
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