she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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