Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
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Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
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You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
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