oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
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