chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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