office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Sober January is a disaster.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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