saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
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