You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
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