You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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