You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
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just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
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Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize