This dress was meant to end up on your floor
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
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Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
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That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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