It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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