Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
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