Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize