i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
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He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
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did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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