Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
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No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
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I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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