i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize