yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize